Intergalactic Interviews: Episode 1: The Genie from Aladdin, Wish Theif

LuitorreZ Show

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LuitorreZ: My name is LuitorreZ, I host a multi-universal news and talk show.

(In a room that appears to be a galactic talk show, sits a man opposite a science fiction looking chair that is inside cylindrical encasement.)

LuitorreZ: I possess a magical guest chair that can summon any individual or entity from any cinematic universe known to mankind. I have decided to permit AngNilla Da Guru of Cinema to use these interviews I conduct; on his blog, I hope you all enjoy. Welcome to our first show where our first guest will be non other than the all powerful… Genie from the DisneyVerse.

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( the chair begins to shake, then a beam of light engulfs it, when it subsides the Genie is sitting in it.)

LuitorreZ: I’m LuitorreZ, the best interviewer and host since forever, on behalf of all our viewers, I would like to welcome you to the Axis. This is the center point of all reality. So Genie, how are you today?

Genie: I’m doing fine LuitorreZ. But where am I, because this sure isn’t Agrabah. (he looks around very confused.) Where’s Al and Abu?

LuitorreZ: This is the axis point, where all realities converge. It is where I conduct my multi-dimensional interviews.

Genie: How come I can’t use any of my powers?

LuitorreZ: This dome we are in, inhibits powers. So, that means you are stuck here until I say. Also to avoid any conflict or damage to this gorgeous setup we have here.

Genie: How long will you be keeping me here? My friends are going need me sooner or later.

LuitorreZ: After I am done asking you the questions I have prepared for you.

Genie: Multiple Choice are 21 questions? Do I get Lifelines or clues.

LuitorreZ: No, they are questions about you and your larceny of desires and desires .

Genie: Oh cool, okay hit me with your best shot. Wait what do you mean by lar…

LuitorreZ: (cuts him off) I have heard tales of several genies and I must say, the thought of one being free, scares the hell out of me. The one in Wishmaster still gives me wet the bed dreams.

Genie: What’s Wishmaster?

LuitorreZ: That’s irrelevant, but anyways before we continue you said your friends will need you sooner or later. That’s kind of narcissistic,.. now it’s on to my question. How did you get free from your lamp?

Genie: My good old, bestest buddy Aladdin. I call him Al for short, I love the little guy like a brother. Well anyways, he used his third wish to set me free and here I am. I have been able to see and travel the whole world.

LuitorreZ: That’s pretty noble of him. This Al, seems like a really good friend,you must have been through a lot with him. Was he your favorite master?

Genie: That’s a big old yes on both parts, I still help him on adventues and assist him saving Agrabah. I feel that we make great team, we always have, always will. I’d do anything for my pal, I love him man, whenever he needs me, I’m there.

LuitorreZ: So why did you steal his wishes?

Genie: Well you see…..wait what did you ask me?

LuitorreZ: Oh I’m sorry, let me slow it down a bit…So….Why….Did…..you..

Genie: No, no, no..I heard the question, what do you mean by it?

LuitorreZ: I mean to find out, why you stole your “best friend’s” wishes. All three of them you wish thief. Explain how you stole his first wish.

Genie: I didn’t steal anything and don’t understand how I stole his wish. I mad him a prince just like he asked me to. I gave him sharp looking royal attire and one of the most eccentric and over the top parades known to history.

LuitorreZ: I guess you haven’t seen a gay pride parade.

Genie: What….I don’t follow you. So explain, how did I steal Al’s wish.

LuitorreZ: First off, it was a pretty awesome parade, “Prince Ali, mighty as he”… and he did look pretty royally. Yet, that doesn’t make you a prince my friend. Anyone can have a name change, some new clothes and a parade. What was he prince of, where did all those subjects go after this parade, why the hell did you turn Abu into an elephant. Don’t answer, there rhetorical. You didn’t make him a prince, you made him appear like a prince. The Prince of Fakeville, you wish thief. Couldn’t you have just made him married to princess Jasmine you kleptomaniac of petitions?

Genie: I can’t make people fall in love. It’s one of my three rules.

LuitorreZ: Pfft.. So much for phenomenal cosmic powers, you can’t even do something Hitch would have done with eyes closed. Anyways, I didn’t say fall in love I said married, there is a difference just ask my ex wife.

Genie: Okay….so how did I steal this second wish?

LuitorreZ: You seem flustered did I hit a soft spot. What was his second wish, wish thief?

Genie: Stop calling me that! …(takes a deep breath) I saved him from drowning at the bottom of the ocean. That one I definitely didn’t steal, he needed to be saved. I wasn’t going to let him die such a horrible death. He is my best bud, I did what I had to do.

LuitorreZ: Yeah keep telling yourself that. Wouldn’t you have been stuck at the bottom of the ocean as well?

Genie: Yeah I guess, but I had to do it, more so for Al. I can’t use my powers if they aren’t for a wish.

LuitorreZ: Whatever…Didn’t you use your powers to escape the Cave of Wonders without using a wish? So on top of being a narcissistic wish thief you are a liar.

Genie: I’m not liking this interview or what you are implying. I am not going to answer any more of your stupid questions.

LuitorreZ: Thank God I never had a friend like you. Wish Thief!

(he presses the button and the same process that summoned the Genie, sends him back home.)

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